glory AND fire

So, this Charlie Hall song I listened to before my missions experiences this summer referenced santification by glory and by fire. I am slowly learning what this means - and it is one of the most painful and yet joyful experiences in the world (no, I have not converted to sadism - keep reading). This week I am working with a church (not my regular assignment) that I have little desire to work with. Through a variety of complicated circumstances, my missions partner and I have committed to working with a pastor to reach his community. We are over our heads. This pastor has family troubles, the church is dying, and the area is intimidating. We, no... I, am struggling every step of the way with a desire to quit - not because the job is hard, but because this church is not traveling in the direction that I want to place my efforts. Their passion is to grow their church (by this I mean keep their church alive), at the expense of seemingly-open doors if need be. My passion, on the other hand, is to challenge the status quo and reach people even IF it requires mixing things up. Yet I myself question both these passions as secondary, and perhaps even incorrect. My passion must be Christ - His name being echoed in every corner of the earth. I must serve this pastor even if it hurts. That is what glory and fire means. Some days I will be dancing before God in exuberant awe, and some days I will be writhing in pain. I think we too often focus on one or the other: seeing God either only when things are going well and we want to 'get our praise on' as some gospel singers like to put it, or thinking we must run this gauntlet of purgatory to become like Christ. Instead, we must see both as ingredients in a larger plan - our santification for God's renown. God has given me a trial this week to honor Him through, and He has given me reasons to praise Him for limitless grace and love shown to me in a thousand places. This is proof that love hurts - but what a sweet Love it is.